Lilith is a polyamorous woman who has been writing for over five years. She enjoys writing about sex, toys, relationships, love, and mental health.


  1. Joe
    October 2, 2020 @ 10:27 pm

    Just a couple of comments from someone who’s had an opportunity to compare several brands of Fleshlight-like sex-toys to the incomparable original – the female body. Due to medical issues, my wife is unable to have sex any longer, and I’m unable to be unfaithful to her, so sextoys have become a very important source of release. In my experience, no other brand compares to Fleshlight. Perhaps its the wide range of options they offer.

    As you said, one shouldn’t expect it to feel exactly like the real thing. What you should really be comparing it to is your hand (or whatever else you were previously rubbing yourself against). I suppose the comparison for a woman would be if you had previously been grinding against a pillow, and you bought yourself a vibrating dildo. One with a suction-cup mount, by the way…because one of the things that makes the Fleshlight more satisfying than doing it “by hand” is that with a little ingenuity, you can easily use it “hands-free” (they sell a suction-cup mount that works on surfaces like tile, glass, or metal). Being able to actively thrust into it, and move your whole body adds greatly to the fantasy…and that’s what any simulation of real sex is going to be about…letting your mind trick your body into believing the fantasy.

    Essential to that illusion, is something you mentioned: warmth. I can’t imagine using a Fleshlight cold. There are various ways to warm them. The manufacturer recommends soaking in hot water, and they also sell a sleeve warmer (imagine a slim dildo on a stand that heats up). I’ve also found a simple hot pad wrapped around it to work wonders…and I warm up the lube as well. I can say without hesitation that the most satisfying masturbation experience of my life was using a heated fleshlight hands-free while watching a POV (first-person point of view) porn video on a VR headset with sound. I timed my movement to the person in the video, and it was the closest thing to real sex I’ve ever experienced without a partner!


  2. Joe
    October 2, 2020 @ 10:30 pm

    Oh! Meant to include one other detail…you might think that all of those different internal textures would only effect how much stimulation there is, and therefore how quickly the guy would reach orgasm. Not so! To my own surprise, I’ve found that my orgasm actually FEELS different depending on the internal texture of the sleeve. Don’t ask me to explain it…LOL, its hard to put into words. But its true.


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